Today, the sweet Sonechko and I are going to her friend's wedding. The ceremony will be held at the Kharkiv registry office, a common phenomenon in war-torn Ukraine. Opulent ceremonies and grand public events are very much muted since the war broke out in 2022.
You’re more likely to see funerals than weddings.
The cities of Ukraine have had to adapt to war in all its aspects, but these changes are unique to each city. All of these cities have faced adversity and losses, but these experiences have had a different scale and effect on each city. Even Lviv, though its losses are minimal compared to other Ukrainian cities, has had major museums and buildings targeted by Russian strikes.
And every city, no matter how safe, still has to lose its sons and daughters to the war.
Lviv and Odesa are still a bit lively. Kids still roam the streets. Tour guides still lead large groups to proudly show off their city’s grandeur. Shops and markets are mostly open. More rockets and drones strike Odesa than either Lviv or Kyiv, and yet if you visited Odesa today in 2024, the beaches are full and the bars are active. Tourism is BOOMING.
Compared to Odesa, Kyiv is a guilt-ridden and repressed city, even compared to just back in the summer of 2022. Public displays of joy and festivity are considered by some sad souls to be a betrayal of the heroes (Even though it’s often the heroes returning from the frontlines who wish to celebrate the most). The lack of serious war experienced by many since ‘22, combined with privilege and affluence, leads people to feel anxious and existential about their lifestyles.
Kharkiv is a different beast altogether. Mercilessly under siege since 2022, merely by living in Kharkiv, the people here are doing their part for the war, especially now that Russia has espoused the goal of turning this city into an unlivable wasteland. There’s no guilt here. Any loss of activity or energy comes from pragmatism rather than dogma. People are actually happier and more celebratory here than in Kyiv, despite the disruptions. Cafe culture here will not die until the last true child of Kharkiv flees the city, no matter how many bombs the Russians send. The population of Kharkiv, being a university town, is also much younger than Kyiv and the other cities of Ukraine. This youthful liberal energy probably plays a part in the city’s culture.
In fact, after the ceremony, Sonya and I are going to the wedding party at a nearby restaurant in the center of Kharkiv, a place where not so very long ago, Russian boots trampled through the streets, artillery shells rained down upon the square, and firefights tore through the buildings.
What a time to be alive!
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