top of page
zinklzane

First Days in Kyiv (Sept. 6 - 9, 2023)

When I got off the bus, I was tired, very tired.


The first thing I did was hire a taxi to take me to the first apartment I’ll be having in Ukraine. It was a little further out than I’d imagined, but it’s in the middle of some beautiful country at the edge of the forest Northeast of Kyiv, near Irpin. Before I leave here I will probably end up paying a visit to Irpin and Bucha, those living monuments to Russian aggression, and the sites of countless war-crimes.


When I got to the little part of Kyiv where my apartment was, I couldn’t find the place due to it not being properly located on Google maps. I wandered the whole town looking for it. My rolling suitcase took some serious wear on the wheels, before I finally asked for help.


As it would so happen, the first couple I asked knew where my apartment was and spoke perfect English. They were walking their dog, a German-Shepherd-mix named Bucha, who they had rescued near Irpin and Bucha. On top of that, the guy, Mycola, even helped carry one of my bags for me. I got into the apartment with little trouble and thanked my lucky stars. I ended up offering to take them out for a cup of coffee.


I had trouble again the next day, when I went to the mall to get a SIM card for Ukraine. The SIM card situation was easy enough, but my world was shattered for a while when an ATM ate my card. It was even further shattered when a little old lady used the ATM, and it gave her her card back!


Jeez Louise!


Luckily, I have all my cards on Apple Pay and am now exclusively using MoneyGram, not because it’s the only option, but because that way no bitch-ass machines can steal my livelihood. Honestly now, writing this a few days later, I can’t help but laugh at the insanity of it all, but boy, for a while there, I was struggling to find the humor!


Also another issue that arose that made this even more nonsensically hilarious, is that many of my apps are being weird and not allowing me access in Ukraine. On top of that, the one that seems to be fine is/was the artist formerly known as Bank of the West, that has tragically come to be known as BMO. The transfer between bank-systems has not been smooth. There’s like thousands of complaints and like Hurricane Idalia victims not being able to use their cards. So I’m waiting on that.


The biggest saving grace has been Capital One, which finally worked after I set up an American VPN. That’s my main credit card company, so as long as I can pay bills on that I’m basically good. I mean I can see what I’m spending on their app, but I can’t know what my balance is with those BMO bastards.


This time these problems were a lot easier to solve for two reasons: One, my cards work fine and most places take card. And two, my dad left me €65 that he wasn’t able to spend in Portugal, that I converted in Poland to Ukrainian Hryvnia, which after a hefty fee came out to about 2300 UAH. I haven’t even spent all of that in my 4 or so days here, though many places only take cash, which is why I hit myself with a $300 MoneyGram just in case. In a country where shit can go down at anytime, cash is king. But just like the travel guides will tell you, when you’re traveling abroad you should never spend cash if you can use card, because transaction and exchange fees make cash more expensive.


I headed to Maidan once to check in to the Ukrinform Media Center in Kyiv, and to pick-up my Gram from a reliable bank I used to use. The check-in wasn’t necessary apparently, but it was nice to get a little info. At that same location they do daily briefings, so I might check that out once I get more established. In the meantime, they told me to just fill out the application online for accreditation and that it will probably take at least two weeks to process.


After all my business was concluded, I ended up having a couple mojitos in the name of Auld Lang Syne. In that same spirit of nostalgia, I walked down to Kreschatik to the old kebap place that Ross and I used to hit on a daily basis. After that, I had no choice but to go to Bochka. Ah, Bochka Pub! The place of my dreams! I ordered a liter of beer and walked out to the smoking veranda and lit up a Lucky Strike.


I had tagged the old crew in a post about Bochka on Instagram, and the very-fuckin-minute I did that, Pato video-called me. He was one of the knuckleheads that I met in Lviv back in ‘22. Jeez. We had a pretty good conversation on account of that I was a little buzzed. It was extra-hilarious because the bar was empty, and the workers kept coming up to smoke. They were just listening to us talk about the most out-of-pocket topics known to civilized man. Pato has this amazing ability to say things that are so cringe that you can’t believe he really said them, and by the time you wrap your mind around them, he goes and says something worse. He’s not even aware of this, mind you. A part of me hopes those workers don’t speak English.


But another part of me hopes that they do…


After my liter was done, and after I had properly honored the spirits of that sacred place by chain-smoking cigarettes, I decided it would probably be best to leave before Bochka  swallowed me entirely. It was time for a stroll down memory lane. I walked over to the Drunk Cherry to ride the tumult of those blood-red seas once again. Across the street the old apartment I lived in towered overhead. It hit me with a heart full of feels to be back on Kreschatik.


Things are happening here. Change is coming.

8 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

Soul Sick

Comments


bottom of page